Daniel Elton Harmon

Ukulele Comeback!

2010-01-23T20:15:00.002-05:00

The Yesterukes may be the hottest things since hot potatoes! Check out http://yesterukes.blogspot.com. Ukers are goin' wild with these "baby guitars". . . . .

New History-Mystery E-Magazette!

2010-01-05T17:48:00.003-05:00

When you get a minute, please check out www.danieleltonharmon.com/h&mreader.htm. The Illustrated Harper & MacTavish Reader, an e-magazette in .pdf format, was launched last Saturday! It's quarterly. Vol. 1, No. 1 contains one story each from "The Harper Chronicles" and "The Casebook of MacTavish," plus a revived, little-known classic mystery from the 1800s . . . *plus* notes and anecdotes re criminal cases and lifestyles of the period . . . **plus** a history/mystery quiz to challenge your knowledge. There's more: Subscribers receive a never-before-published Harper-or-MacTavish story in weekly serial installments, "cliffhanger" style! Trial copy of the first issue available on request; just drop me an e-note.

Christmas Tidings

2009-12-25T13:05:00.002-05:00

Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11

A Little Excitement, BIG Response

2009-04-24T18:19:00.005-05:00

I ran my new scooter into a ditch last summer. (I’ve learned how to turn it since then.) No major damage, but as I was standing at roadside nursing a banged forearm and dealing with blood from my ring finger, several passersby stopped to check on me. A volunteer fireman pulled over in his pickup truck. Then came an ambulance, a highway patrol officer and—TA-DA—a fire engine!

Hey, it's nice to feel loved, but this was ridiculous. My scooter was the only vehicle involved. There were no serious injuries, no gasoline spill. (I rode the scooter home.)

I heartily applaud our emergency responders for their daily diligence; they save many lives. I had to wonder at the time, though, whether this procession was really necessary, and how much my small adventure cost city and county taxpayers.

Mark Twain, in Pudd’nhead Wilson, described a comical fire scene in an 1850s Mississippi River town. “[T]he fire-boys mounted to the hall and flooded it with water enough to annihilate forty times as much fire as there was there; for a village fire company does not often get a chance to show off, and so when it does get a chance it makes the most of it. Such citizens of that village as were of a thoughtful and judicious temperament did not insure against fire; they insured against the fire company.”

Alive!

2009-04-12T20:44:00.003-05:00

When my good pagan friends drill into me (as they enjoy doing) their enlightened conclusion that Scripture is a matter of "personal interpretation," I remember a statement one of them issued to me a year or two ago at Easter time. He said, "It all comes down to the question of belief, doesn't it?"

Profound. There it is—from a pagan.

Rev. Gordon Pols, writing in Today: The Family Altar for this Easter Sunday, explains: "Easter trips up the mind. . . . It flies in the face of all our experience. It contradicts the laws of nature. . . . Resurrection defies all we have ever seen or known. But of course! That's the whole point of Easter! How else could Easter be good news for a fallen, sin-seared, grave-filled world?"

Until you understand that you indeed are fallen and sin-seared and in desperate need of a Saviour . . . Easter and its Good News will mean nothing to you.

GPS Sports

2007-01-20T11:25:00.000-05:00

Have you read of the GPS (global positioning system) engineered to help golfers maneuver around sand traps, roughs and other hazards on golf courses? Duffers no longer can claim they didn’t know about that big pine tree hidden from view behind the nearer pine tree. Distances, angles . . . everything is automated.

Soon, professional football players will have GPS-based, robotic audio units built into their helmets. A quarterback might hear: “Weak-side linebacker dodging block; approaching from left rear at rate of 22-miles-per-” SMACKO!

Quotes to Live By

2007-01-05T08:14:00.000-05:00

From Charles Spurgeon, probably my favorite Christian author/teacher:

Sons of light must not have fellowship with deeds, doctrines, or deceits of darkness.

The further from worldly conformity the better.

A Fresh Take on Christmas Commercialization

2006-12-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

Steve Brown makes a beautiful statement in his December newsletter from Key Life re the commercialization of Christmas. "There are many smaller businesses that will or will not exist after Christmas based solely on how well they do at this time of year," he points out. "If the stores don't make it, there will be a lot of people out of jobs. . . . It isn't that commercialization is wrong . . . it's just so different than what God had in mind the first Christmas. . . . It's not just at Christmas. It's all the time. Everybody has an angle, a product to sell or a vision from God to change the world. It's important, they say, that we win elections, that we are beautiful, that we smell good, that others like us, that we buy the right stocks and read the right books. . . ."

Steve's insights are always worth reading. Check him out.

Foundering or Floundering?

2006-08-23T07:26:00.000-05:00

The difference between a founder (one who establishes or begins to build something) and a flounder (a weirdish fish) is apparent to everyone. Not so clearly discernible are the verb forms. To founder and to flounder mean the same thing, in the minds of countless speakers and writers. Both verbs suggest dire situations, it’s true, but of a substantially different nature.

The Titanic foundered. It did not flounder. The Latin fundere meant to found, or cast; it also meant to slay, or lay low. (In a sense, it could mean both to build and to destroy.) The Middle English foundren meant to collapse to the foundation, to fall, or—its most common usage in modern times—to sink.

Etymologists believe flounder may have derived from founder, but it suggests a different type of problem. It means to thrash wildly, to move about awkwardly, or to attempt impulsive, desperate schemes and solutions, all of them futile. If you’re floundering, you’re basically lost or helpless, struggling to find your way.

The Titanic, by contrast, was driven purposefully, straight and haughty, through the North Atlantic on a cold, moonless night. It grazed an iceberg accidentally, came to a dead halt, settled gradually for two-and-a-half hours, then plunged to the bottom. While its passengers and crew floundered in the frigid sea, praying for rescue, the ship itself foundered into the depths.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (22may06)

2006-05-22T08:14:00.000-05:00

The Chieftains recorded their 1988 album Irish Heartbeat with what legendary Irish rock star? a) Tommy Sands, b) Neil Diamond, c) Van Morrison, d) Ian Anderson.

Weekly History Quiz (22may06)

2006-05-22T08:13:00.000-05:00

During the great famine of 1845-50, approximately how many citizens did Ireland lose to starvation and emigration combined? a) 20,000, b) 200,000, c) 2 million, d) 20 million.

Weekly Amusement (22may06)

2006-05-22T08:11:00.000-05:00

Question on a history test: “Why were the Middle Ages also called the Dark Ages.”

Student’s desperation answer: “Because it had so many knights.”

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (17may06)

2006-05-17T19:28:00.000-05:00

Mandolin orchestras became popular around: a) 800, b) 1300, c) 1700, d) 1900.

Weekly History Quiz (17may06)

2006-05-17T19:27:00.000-05:00

Yaroslav the Wise gave Kievan Russia what was probably its finest leadership . . . in what century? a) 7th), b) 11th, c) 16th, 19th.

Weekly Amusement (17may06)

2006-05-17T18:33:00.000-05:00

Veronica decided to keep her goldfish in a bathtub. Her friend Marian raised several concerns, all of which Veronica had worked out.

“But what will you do with them when you take a shower?” Marian asked.

“Tell them they have to close their eyes.”

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (6may06)

2006-05-06T15:44:00.000-05:00

The rommelpot is a toy drum native to: a) South Africa, b) Brazil, c) Bavaria, d) Flanders.

Weekly History Quiz (6may06)

2006-05-06T15:42:00.000-05:00

President Franklin D. Roosevelt died 12 April 1945—how long after beginning his fourth term in office? a) less than three months, b) just more than 11 months, c) exactly two years, d) exactly one week short of completing the term.

Weekly Amusement (6may06)

2006-05-06T15:27:00.000-05:00

Definition of “infinity”: The place where two parallel lines never meet.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (29ap06)

2006-04-29T17:44:00.000-05:00

Niel Gow, considered by some to have been the foremost Scottish fiddler in history, was born in: a) 1326, b) 1584, c) 1727, d) 1895.

Weekly History Quiz (29ap06)

2006-04-29T17:41:00.000-05:00

Samuel Adams, one of America's most famous founding fathers, lived in what colony (state)? a) Virginia, b) Pennsylvania, c) New York, d) Massachusetts.

Weekly Amusement (29ap06)

2006-04-29T17:35:00.000-05:00

Has your dog had puppies this year?

Nope, just fleas.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (19ap06)

2006-04-19T19:49:00.000-05:00

Doc Watson became a legendary performer on what folk instrument? a) guitar, b) dulcimer, c) fiddle, d) banjo.

Weekly History Quiz (19ap06)

2006-04-19T19:44:00.000-05:00

Christopher Columbus died 20 May 1506 in what city? a) Sevilla, Spain; b) Valladolid, Spain; c) Port-au-Prince, Haiti; d) St. Augustine, Florida.

Weekly Amusement (19ap06)

2006-04-19T19:38:00.000-05:00

What steps do rodeo clowns take to escape charging bulls?

Long ones.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (11ap06)

2006-04-11T18:50:00.000-05:00

The six-volume Scots Musical Museum, published between 1783 and 1803, contained approximately how many songs written by Robert Burns? a) 10, b) 90, c) 200, d) 600.

Weekly History Quiz (11ap06)

2006-04-11T18:43:00.000-05:00

British Queen Victoria (Victoria Regina) died in: a) 1813, b) 1860, c) 1901, d) 1956.

Weekly Amusement (11ap06)

2006-04-11T18:40:00.000-05:00

Jen: Where've you been? I've been trying to call you for the past two weeks.
Min: We were on vacation in Switzerland.
Jen: Oooh, fantastic! Berne?
Min: Oh, no. We quite froze.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (3ap06)

2006-04-03T19:53:00.000-05:00

If you're singing Child Ballad #12, you're singing Francis James Child's collected version of: a) "Danny Boy," b) "Lord Randall," c) "Dungaree Races," d) "The Elfin Knight."

Weekly History Quiz (3ap06)

2006-04-03T19:50:00.000-05:00

Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novel Treasure Island was published in: a) 1790, b) 1846, c) 1883, d) 1911.

Weekly Amusement (3ap06)

2006-04-03T19:46:00.000-05:00

Why do bears sleep all through the winter?

Nobody has the nerve to wake them up.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (28mar06)

2006-03-28T07:42:00.000-05:00

Benjamin Franklin White and E.J. King in 1844 published what famous collection of American shape-note hymns? a) The Sacred Harp, b) The Kentucky Harmony, c) The Missouri Hymnody, d) The Baptist Hymnal.

Weekly History Quiz (28mar06)

2006-03-28T07:41:00.000-05:00

Bathurst Island was discovered in 1819 by what European polar explorer and seeker of the Northwest Passage? a) John Cabot, b) William Edward Parry, c) John Franklin, d) Roald Amundsen.

Weekly Amusement (28mar06)

2006-03-28T07:40:00.000-05:00

What type of shoes require no leather, wood, cloth or synthetic material?

Horseshoes.

Charleston's Maritime Legacy

2006-03-28T07:29:00.000-05:00

Nautical history buffs, particularly those in the Southeast, should be delighted to learn of the fledgling Charleston Harbor Society. Diane Scher and Bill Thomas-Moore, owners of Ship Shapes Maritime Museum Gallery on Queen Street, are spearheading the effort to educate the public about the rich legacy of the South Carolina port city. "There is no port in the United States that can equal the history we have here," Bill says. Founded in 1670, Charleston has been the scene of pirate attacks and important Revolutionary and Civil War battles. It was there that the famous H.L. Hunley submarine sank and, several years ago, was salvaged intact from the muddy harbor bottom.

To get on the society's e-mail list, contact Diane at Shipshapes05@aol.com or CHSharborsociety@aol.com. A Web site is under development: www.charlestonharborsociety.com.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (21mar06)

2006-03-21T07:51:00.000-05:00

Who wrote "Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms"? a) Thomas Moore, b) Robert Burns, c) Alice Richardson, d) Stephen Foster.

Weekly History Quiz (21mar06)

2006-03-21T07:47:00.000-05:00

In what year was the University of Adelaide founded in South Australia? a) 1836, b) 1874, c) 1919, d) 1960.

Weekly Amusement (21mar06)

2006-03-21T07:39:00.000-05:00

Why do doctors and nurses wear masks during surgery?

So the patient won’t know who to blame.

Recurring Word Plays

2006-03-15T07:46:00.000-05:00

Deadline pressure from The Strand sometimes resulted in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle committing sloppy mistakes in drafting his Sherlock Holmes stories. He also was prone to a common weakness among writers: the tendency to overuse favorite words and phrases.

I've read and heard "The Adventure of the Speckled Band" scores of times but realized only recently that one of the more memorable expressions is used not once in the story, but twice. When Watson remarks that the plight of Miss Helen Stoner appears to be "a most dark and sinister business," Holmes replies, "Dark enough and sinister enough." Later in the story, after Holmes reveals his line of reasoning to his comrade, Watson exclaims, "I seem to see dimly what you are hinting at. We are only just in time to prevent some subtle and horrible crime." To which Holmes acknowledges, "Subtle enough and horrible enough."

Enough is enough. I submit the dialogue, while effective, is also redundant. (To which you well might respond, "Effective enough and redundant enough.")

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (9mar06)

2006-03-09T20:16:00.000-05:00

Who wrote the 1964 Folk Revival song "The Times They Are A'Changin'"? a) John Stewart, b) Joni Mitchell, c) Bob Dylan, d) Michelle Philips.

Weekly History Quiz (9mar06)

2006-03-09T20:14:00.000-05:00

Which European nation colonized Mozambique during the 16th and 17th centuries? a) Spain, b) Russia, c) Portugal, d) Italy.

Weekly Amusement (9mar06)

2006-03-09T20:11:00.000-05:00

A courtroom lawyer mindlessly proceeded through a litany of preliminary questions to a witness on the stand. “Are you related to the defendant?”

“He’s my brother.”

“And was he your brother last January, at the time of the alleged assault?”

Howard Burnham: New Site, New One-Man Plays

2006-03-09T19:55:00.000-05:00

He's a friend of mine, but I believe I nevertheless can opine objectively that Howard Burnham is one of the most gifted and interesting theatrical performers currently blending the joint themes of history and literature onstage. An Englishman now residing in Columbia, SC, he has intently researched, written and delivered invaluable portrayals of such diverse characters as C.S. Lewis, Gen. John Burgoyne, Lord Charles Cornwallis, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Charles Dickens and Capt. Edward Smith of the Titanic. I was delighted to learn of his new Web site: www.howardburnham.com. Doubly delighted that he's adding a touch of Sherlockian lore to his repertoire: "Dr. Watson on Sherlock Holmes."

Howard performs primarily on the East Coast. Do attend, if he's booked for a presentation near you. (If not . . . book him.)

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (4mar06)

2006-03-04T15:57:00.000-05:00

On what campus did The Highwaymen folk quintet organize in 1958? a) Menlo College, b) Wesleyan University, c) University of South Carolina, d) Michigan State University.

Weekly History Quiz (4mar06)

2006-03-04T15:53:00.000-05:00

At approximately what point in history do linguists say "Modern Dutch" succeeded "Middle Dutch?" a) 1550, b) 1650, c) 1750, d) 1850.

Weekly Amusement (4mar06)

2006-03-04T15:52:00.000-05:00

Wife: “Why do you never pay attention to what I say?”
Husband: “Don't you know? I’m hard of listening.”

Sunday Blog (26fe06)

2006-02-26T12:42:00.000-05:00

My non-Calvinist friends occasionally challenge my Presbyterianism with a question like: "Don't you believe God gives us choices?" The issue they're getting at, of course, is election—the fact that God calls to Himself those He has chosen to accept Christ as their attoning Saviour. In other words, they're asking, when Jesus "stands at the door and knocks," as He put it, does not everyone get to "choose" whether to open the door of their hearts and let Jesus enter their lives?

My response long has been: "Insofar as human understanding can reach, we certainly make choices. But God knew what our choices ultimately would be, long before He created us. He created us all anyway—those of us who would choose to accept Christ and those who wouldn't."

One small bit of scripture perhaps clarifies my statement. Proverbs 16:9 declares: "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps." The New Century Version states it this way: "People may make plans in their minds, but the Lord decides what they will do."

By all means, make your plans. Make your "choices." The Lord says He works everything to good for those who love Him and are called to His purpose. At the very least, then, you must allow that God has the power to override our plans and choices if and as He chooses.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (25feb06)

2006-02-25T12:30:00.000-05:00

Who was The Journeymen’s banjo player during the early1960s Folk Revival? a) Bud Dashiell, b) Dave Guard, c) Dick Weissman, d) Mike Kirkland.

Weekly History Quiz (25feb06)

2006-02-25T12:27:00.000-05:00

What author immortalized "the Scottish Robin Hood," Rob Roy MacGregor (1671-1734), with a novel published in 1818? a) James Fennimore Cooper, b) Robert Louis Stevenson, c) Emily Bronte, d) Sir Walter Scott.

Weekly Amusement (25feb06)

2006-02-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

A burglar told a judge he intended to represent himself in court. "Don't you want a lawyer?" the judge said. "One will be appointed for you at no cost, if you can't afford it."

"Nah," replied the miscreant. "I've decided to tell the truth this time."

The Estill Book Club

2006-02-25T12:15:00.000-05:00

There are clubs of all kinds—some focused, some aimless, some benevolent, some socially elite and “clubby.” In Estill, SC, is a club after my own heart. The Estill Book Club, meeting twice a month from September to April, is finishing its 93rd year. It isn’t just a worthy organization; it’s priceless, in my estimation. Here are people who avidly read books—a dying breed—and gather to discuss their selections. Moreover, they share a close common friendship that makes the Book Club one of the most important activities in each member’s life. Besides the books and current events they discuss, they look forward to a lunch-time feast at each meeting. When they return thanks to the Lord before indulging at table, they understand they have a lot more to be thankful for than a fine southern meal.

A dozen women in 1913 started the club because, although they lived in a remote small town near the Savannah River, they were interested in worldwide literature. Why 12 members? Because the typical southern dining table seated exactly that number. As the original members passed on, each was succeeded in turn, typically by a relative. Thus, the Estill Book Club possesses an unique genealogical as well as literary tradition.

In an era when more and more people are taking most—in many situations all—of their education and entertainment from broadcast and online media, the Estill Book Club is carrying on the vital promotion of the printed word.

The club has made for front-page feature material in several daily newspapers. Sandlapper, The Magazine of South Carolina, is featuring the group in its Spring 2006 issue. You can read the article online in April after the issue goes public at the SC-ETV Web site, www.knowitall.org.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (18fe06)

2006-02-18T08:17:00.001-05:00

Which Bill Monroe bluegrass standard was recorded by Elvis Pressley? a) “Uncle Penn,” b) “Blue Moon of Kentucky,” c) “Footprints in the Snow,” d) “Mule Skinner Blues.”

Weekly History Quiz (18fe06)

2006-02-18T08:17:00.000-05:00

Who founded the Pacific Fur Company in the early 1800s? a) William Lewis, b) Meriwether Clark, c) Jeremiah Johnson, d) John Jacob Astor.

Weekly Amusement (18fe06)

2006-02-18T08:15:00.000-05:00

Diner to waiter: “There’s a fly in my soup.”
Waiter to diner: “Don’t worry. Nothing survives long in our soup.”

More Abuse of the English Language

2006-02-17T21:46:00.000-05:00

The Weather Channel, to me, is probably the most useful operation TV has going for it. But although I love and respect the meteorological team, I’m eventually going to throw up on the screen if they keep mangling the language. My pet peeve: “These conditions are expected to continue through the overnight.”

Hey, gang, “through the night” says it exactly.

And I might throw up on my wife if she tosses out the nonword “majorly” one more time. (“I’m majorly bent outa shape over that.”) Yeah, and I’m majorly bent outa shape over the fabrication of “majorly.”

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (17fe06)

2006-02-17T21:45:00.000-05:00

In what year did John Denver succeed Chad Mitchell as a member of the Chad Mitchell Trio? a) 1960, b) 1965, c) 1970, d) 1975.

Weekly History Quiz (17fe06)

2006-02-17T21:44:00.000-05:00

The Stono Rebellion, a major slave uprising near Charleston, South Carolina, occurred in: 1) 1680, b) 1739, c) 1800, d) 1857.

Weekly Amusement (17fe06)

2006-02-17T21:43:00.000-05:00

Mo: Is “Ballpoint” your real name?
Ballpoint: Nah, that’s my pen name.

Wolves in Sheeps' Clothing

2006-02-17T21:42:00.000-05:00

“Where’d We Get That Phrase” Department:
The term “wolf in sheep’s clothing” comes to us—surprise, surprise—from scripture, as do so many common sayings. When Jesus spoke the metaphor in Matthew 7:15, He was warning His followers not to be led astray. The exact quote (KJV): “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (4fe06)

2006-02-04T21:24:00.000-05:00

The Virginia Minstrels, cofounded by Dan Emmett, debuted in 1843 in what city? a) Charleston, SC, b) New York, c) St. Louis, d) Paris.

Weekly History Quiz (4fe06)

2006-02-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

In what century did the Aztecs in Mexico establish their capital, Tenochtitlán? a) 9th Century B.C., b) 2nd Century B.C., c) 4th Century A.D., d) 14th Century A.D.

Weekly Amusement (4fe06)

2006-02-04T21:13:00.000-05:00

What did one skunk say to the other as they crouched in hiding beneath the crowded church pew?

"Let us spray. . . ."

Dickens Data

2006-02-04T21:00:00.000-05:00

A fine Web resource for readers interested in Charles Dickens is Gad's Hill Place. You'll find rich details concerning Dickens life and works, as well as what reputedly is the largest collection of his quotations (more than 500) available on the Internet.

Of particular interest to me is the account of the Staplehurst railway accident of 1865. Dickens narrowly escaped a horrible death; 10 were killed, 50 injured.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (28ja06)

2006-01-28T14:43:00.000-05:00

Indian sitarist/composer Ravi Shankar (born 1920) is best-known to westerners for his musical association during the 1960s with members of: a) The Kingston Trio, b) The Byrds, c) The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, d) The Beatles.

Weekly History Quiz (28ja06)

2006-01-28T14:42:00.000-05:00

When he lost the pivotal Saratoga Campaign in the American Revolution in 1777, flamboyant British Gen. John Burgoyne was in his: a) 20s, b) 30s, c) 40s, d) 50s.

Weekly Amusement (28ja06)

2006-01-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

At a Scottish highland festival, a distraught child approached a bagpiper. “Put it down and leave it alone,” she demanded, “and perhaps it will stop hollering!”

"Down to the Sea. . . ."

2006-01-23T07:09:00.000-05:00

You’re undoubtedly familiar with the term “down to the sea in ships.” It’s been used—sometimes in a spirit of adventure, sometimes of toil, sometimes of omen—by poets and orators for many generations.

Its source? The phrase is contained in the Prayer Book of the Church of England, but it far predates the Anglican faith. Look to Scripture, specifically Psalm 107:23-24:

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (20ja06)

2006-01-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

“Little Boxes,” perhaps the definitive nonconformist parody of the Folk Revival era, was written by: a) Jerry Makem, b) Heddy West, c) Pete Seeger, d) Malvina Reynolds.

Weekly History Quiz (20ja06)

2006-01-20T14:38:00.000-05:00

Portuguese explorers began establishing a presence in the River Congo region of Africa in the: a) late 15th Century, b) late 16th Century, c) late 17th Century, d) late 18th Century.

Weekly Amusement (20ja06)

2006-01-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

A motel lodger complained vigorously at morning check-out. His room reeked with the stale smell of heavy cigarette smoke. There was only one small bath towel; no soap. The TV set received only one channel, his worn bed spread was shot with ash burns, and the only two settings on the climate control system seemed to be "sweltering" or "frigid." Finally, the bed was too short. "Don't you people want to make your guests feel at home?" he fumed.

"If our guests wanted to feel at home," intoned the clerk, processing the credit card, "we figure they'd have stayed at home."

Aiming Low

2006-01-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

Curious Footnote to the American Revolution: It was at the Battle of Trenton (following George Washington’s famous crossing of the icy Delaware River on Christmas night, 1776) that American Col. Charles Scott of Virginia reportedly issued the odd command for his soldiers to fire at the Hessian defenders’ legs. Scott allegedly reasoned that if a man was hit in the leg, two of his comrades would be occupied carrying him from the battlefield.

Is it just me, or does that seem ludicrous to you, too? I wasn’t there, but I’ve always understood that most of the wounded were carried from the field after a battle was over. Meanwhile, a soldier shot in the leg might continue to participate in the fray, loading and firing his musket.

Happily for Washington and company, the Hessians were totally surprised and surrendered with comparatively little resistance. I for one doubt that aiming low had much to do with the outcome.

The "No Ice Cream Diet"

2006-01-14T10:20:00.000-05:00

Our 15-year-old annoys us with that typical teen-age deadpan, supremely self-assured attitude, quick to point out how dumb adults are. Offsetting it in her case, however, is a cool sense of humor. We watched her scowl at a TV commercial that attempted to evoke appeal for low-calorie ice cream, touting the product as a marvelous component of most any diet plan.

Alison, repulsed at the thought of low-calorie ice cream, intoned, "Here's a diet plan: Don't eat ice cream."

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (13ja06)

2006-01-13T15:12:00.000-05:00

The "high road" and "low road" are figurative allusions in the chorus of a) "Loch Lomond," b) "Barbara Allen," c) "Blowin' in the Wind," d) "Dixie."

Week History Quiz (13ja06)

2006-01-13T15:08:00.000-05:00

Tomás de Torquemada (1420-98), besides his notoriety as a brutal inquisitor, was a Spanish: a) grandee, b) sheriff, c) sea captain, d) monk.

Weekly Amusement (13ja06)

2006-01-13T15:03:00.000-05:00

“Dah, muh feet’er duh biggest feet o’ all duh boys in duh fif’ grade. Is it ’cause Ah’m a bluidy Scot?”

“Mare likely ’tis ’cause y’re twenta-three years auld.”

Fine Quality in Gutenberg Readings

2006-01-13T14:55:00.000-05:00

Project Gutenberg (www.gutenberg.org) continues its amazing drive to publish a vast body of free e-books, many of them vintage texts. Currently, it offers some 17,000 titles for downloading; visitors are deriving some 2 million downloads from the project monthly.

Only recently did I realize the expanding scope of Project Gutenberg’s audio e-books. You can download numerous readings, both computer-generated and human-read. The latter are far superior, although fewer in number. I've begun by obtaining several unabridged Sherlock Holmes works, which Gutenberg reportedly passes along from AudioBooksForFree.com. From the notes at www.audiobooksforfree.com, I gather these are read by John Telfer, produced by Alec Reid Recordings. They’re fine reading performances and I eagerly recommend them.

Note: You'll want to use a high-speed connection to obtain these, unless you're willing to wait half an hour or so for the MP3 files to come through vial a dial-up connection. In the Holmes set, an entire volume might consist of a dozen or more separate files; a short story typically is broken into two files. Regardless, they represent a tremendous contribution to the cause of promoting quality literature.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (6ja06)

2006-01-06T08:17:00.000-05:00

The “traveling people” written and sung of by Ewan MacColl and other British Isles balladeers during the Folk Revival referred to: a) Irish emigrants, b) salesmen, c) Vikings, d) Gypsies.

Weekly History Quiz (6ja06)

2006-01-06T08:16:00.000-05:00

The Old Testament book of Numbers is largely: a) a code of laws, b) a history of the Israelites living in Egyptian captivity, c) an early system of mathematics, d) a census of the Hebrew people.

Weekly Amusement (6ja06)

2006-01-06T08:15:00.000-05:00

Frantic caller: “Burglars are trying to break into my house! Please send the police immediately!”

Reassuring dispatcher: “They’re on the way. How should they get to your house?”

Caller, after a confused pause: “I always thought they came in patrol cars—sirens and flashing lights would be good.”

The Cutting Word

2006-01-02T12:21:00.000-05:00

We use the term “two-edged sword” to connote an item, issue or statement that “cuts both ways.” For example, a comment might be received either as an insult or compliment, depending on circumstances. An action can serve both positive and negative purposes simultaneously.

The proverbial two-edged sword is biblical, but not literally “proverbial.” That is, you won’t find it in the Book of Proverbs. You’ll find it first referenced in Paul’s letter to the Hebrews. In Chapter 4, Verse 12, he wrote: For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

In Revelation, the aged Apostle John likewise spoke of it figuratively as God’s holy word. Describing in Chapter 1 the appearance of “One like the Son of Man,” John noted (Verse 16) that “out of His mouth went a sharp twoedged sword.” In his message to the 1st-Century church in Pergamos (Rev. 2:12), John began: These things saith He which hath the sharp sword with two edges. . . .

The very existence and meaning of the Bible obviously “cuts both ways.” To the nonbeliever, it all adds up to little or nothing at all. To the believer, it is very Life!

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (31de05)

2005-12-31T13:26:00.000-05:00

"Ribbon of Darkness," a song penned by Gordon Lightfoot, topped the country music charts in 1965, recorded by: a) Dolly Parton, b) Charlie Pride, c) Marty Robbins, d) Gordon Lightfoot.

Weekly History Quiz (31de05)

2005-12-31T13:24:00.000-05:00

“Strangler” Lewis was: a) a Hollywood actor in the 1920s, b) a wrestling champion in the 1930s, c) a legendary defensive tackle for the Chicago Bears in the 1940s, d) a serial killer in Minneapolis in the 1950s.

Weekly Amusement (31de05)

2005-12-31T13:21:00.000-05:00

Amy: Have you ever read Shakespeare?

Jason: Hmmm. I'm not sure. Who wrote it?

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (22de05)

2005-12-22T12:08:00.000-05:00

The bul bul, a type of "keyed" dulcimer, is native to: a) Pakistan, b) Turkey, c) Siberia, d) The Philippines.

Weekly History Quiz (22de05)

2005-12-22T12:04:00.000-05:00

The gospel of Luke, considered the most systematic historical account of the life of Christ, was written for Greek Christians. Luke, a physician, addressed his historical correspondence specifically to an associate named: a) Theophilus, b) Timothy, c) Sophocles, d) Heroditus.

Weekly Amusement (22de05)

2005-12-22T11:59:00.000-05:00

Mother: It's time for dinner, children. Go wash up.

Barry: Only one of my hands is dirty.

Mother: Okay, if you think you can wash just that one, fine. Make sure you get it extra clean.

Smoky Issues

2005-12-21T08:59:00.000-05:00

Wooden fireplace logs are being banned in some areas because of pollution concerns. To achieve the traditional fireplace effect (including warmth), homeowners are advised to switch to gas logs. To me, gas logs are patently phony. It’s like mounting a plastic replica of a Duesenberg sports car body on a used VW chassis and pretending you drive a Duesenberg.

One thing to be said for their use, however, is the nonsmoke factor. A power outage last week forced us to rely on our fireplace as our lone heat source for more than two days. We kept it burning round the clock. On three occasions, smoke filled the house rather than exiting up the chimney. We never resolved why. The flue was open; the wood was good. Someone suggested we were trying to burn wet logs, but I’ve been unable to verify that as a potential cause of smoking up a living room.

In searching the Web for “flue clues,” I found a very good page of fireplace tips and information by realty inspector/author Bill Ball. If you’re bothered by flawed smoking or other wood-burning concerns, visit http://realtytimes.com/rtcpages/20030505_fireplace.htm.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (19de05)

2005-12-19T10:19:00.000-05:00

During the 1850s, New York City had how many minstrel theatres? a) none, b) 4, c) 10, d) 46.

Weekly History Quiz (19de05)

2005-12-19T10:18:00.000-05:00

Atchison, KS, is named for David R. Atchison, who was a mid-19th-Century U.S. senator from: a) South Carolina, b) Missouri, c) Oklahoma, d) Kansas.

Weekly Amusement (19de05)

2005-12-19T10:04:00.000-05:00

Tom: Have you ever heard of Uncle Arctica?

Megan: Hmmm. I'm not sure. Is he married to Antarctica?

A Glance at the 1611 KJV

2005-12-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

I still use the King James Version of the Bible frequently—for several reasons. Certainly there’s the sentiment factor, after generations of reference to it by my ancestors. There’s broader, deeper sentiment in that it’s a truly “historic” version (I like history). But more than anything, I simply like to read it—more than I do some of the other translations/versions/paraphrases of the Bible I’ve acquired over the years. Typically, I keep one version near my workstation for a few weeks, then another. I like to read the Word afresh and I like to compare wordings.

As for the KJV, I’m neither a naysaying modernist (“You need one of the recent translations if you want to clearly understand what it means.”) nor a flaming antimodernist (“Do you know how many times those editors replaced the word ‘God’ from the original scriptures?!?”) I always want to make sure I’m reading the authentic Word of God, devoid of theo-political and thought police shenanigans, but apart from that, I’m interested in alternate translations.

Peter Waid, our minister at Spartanburg ARP Church, this morning showed me a copy of the original KJV, preserved in the language and lettering of 1611 when it was published. Obviously, even those who insist that the KJV is the only valid version must allow that what we all know as the King James Version has been a bit modernized. Two examples:

Genesis 1:2, "familiar" KJV wording:
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
-------
Genesis 1:2, KJV as originally published:
And the earth was without forme, and voyd, and darkenesse was vpon the face of the deepe: and the Spirit of God mooued vpon the face of the waters.

Romans 1:17, "familiar" KJV wording:
For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.
-------
Romans 1:17, KJV as orginally published:
For therein is the righteoufneffe of God reueiled from faith to faith; as it is written, The iust fhall liue by faith.

Obviously, as the English language gradually, subtly changes, there eventually becomes a good reason for modernizing biblical text—as long as the scholars don't tinker with the meaning and authenticity of God's word.

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (8dec05)

2005-12-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

“The Wedding Song,” the solo “special occasion hit” recorded by Noel Paul Stookey of Peter, Paul & Mary, was written for: a) Mary Travers, b) Peter Yarrow, c) Don McLean, d) Gordon Bok.

Weekly History Quiz (8dec05)

2005-12-08T20:39:00.000-05:00

The USS Nautilus, America’s first nuclear-powered submarine, made its historic voyage between the Pacific and Atlantic oceans beneath the North Polar ice pack in what year? a) 1944, b) 1958, c) 1970, d) 1985.

Weekly Amusement (8dec05)

2005-12-08T20:38:00.000-05:00

Hal entered his apartment and found his roommate Brad watching a bowl game on TV.

“What’s the score?”

“35 to 31,” muttered Brad, intent on the drama of the close game’s final seconds.

“Who’s ahead?”

Brad looked up, annoyed at the intrusion. “The team with the 35.”

Busy Berlusconi

2005-12-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

I loathe politics but I’m fascinated by Italy, which prompted me recently to read a bio of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Although he’s had a blustery, scandal-ridden political career, the story of his early years is endearing to me.

Did you know Berlusconi paid his way through law school in the late 1950s by selling vacuum cleaners in residential neighborhoods and working singing gigs aboard cruise liners? And that his preliminary vocation focused not on practicing law but on building businesses? Milano 2, a modern suburb of his home city of Milan, was his brainchild during the 1960s. He also became a television magnate.

I have no opinions about his politics (having never examined them), but any guy who worked his way through college as a vac salesman and semipro entertainer has to warrant some repect (IMHO).

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (1dec05)

2005-12-01T08:29:00.000-05:00

The sintir, somewhat similar to the Indian sitar, is an instrument strung over a carved wooden log piece covered by camel skin as the resonating body. In what country is it commonly played? a) Egypt, b) Iran, c) Jordan, d) Morocco.

Weekly History Quiz (1dec05)

2005-12-01T08:28:00.000-05:00

George Washington was inaugurated as the nation's first president April 30, 1789, in what city? a) Boston, b) New York, c) Philadelphia, d) Washington.

Weekly Amusement (1dec05)

2005-12-01T08:22:00.000-05:00

An aging Rodney "Hot Rod" Hundley and scoring phenomenon Elgin Baylor roomed together while playing for the Minneapolis Lakers in the early 1970s. In a game against the New York Knickerbockers, Baylor scored an astonishing 71 points; Hundley accounted for 2. Still, the veteran was quite content, observing that he and his esteemed partner tallied "73 points between us."

A Dose of Bierce

2005-12-01T08:07:00.000-05:00

While I’ve always been distressed by Ambrose Bierce’ spiritual void, I’ve been intrigued by much of his writing. (One of his tales already is included in my “Vintage Short Mystery Classics” series of e-booklets.) He unquestionably wrote with wisdom—when headed in certain directions, at any rate—and wit. As they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Hence it was I found myself reading just the other night from The Devil’s Dictionary (1911). For those of you who haven’t encountered the work, I’ve selected a few sample Bierce definitions for your edification.

AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

SELF-ESTEEM, n. An erroneous appraisement.

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANK.) [Note: Bierce was a Union officer in the Civil War.—deh]

Weekly Folk Music Quiz (26nov05)

2005-11-26T11:12:00.000-05:00

Bluegrass music legend Bill Monroe usually played what instrument? a) guitar, b) banjo, c) fiddle, d) mandolin.

Weekly History Quiz (26nov05)

2005-11-26T11:11:00.000-05:00

Botany Bay near modern-day Sydney, Australia, became a convict colony in what year? a) 1712, b) 1787, c) 1840, d) 1895.