Dogs in Unison, Please

Here in South Carolina is a small town (we'll keep it nameless) to which a friend of mine contemplates retiring. He’s investigated. He tells me -- and I promise I’m not makin’ this up -- the key rule, if a newcomer wants to fit in with the established residents, is the “dog rule.” I quote Bryan, my friend: “You can’t have your dog barkin’ at four o’clock in the mornin’ . . . unless everybody else’s dogs are barkin’, in which case it’s okay.”